Companionship and Tribes in the Age of Loneliness
Waffle's Genesis — Part 3
Would living a life devoid of all other beings still be worth living? Aye. At least in my opinion. But it certainly wouldn’t be as meaningful. To a great extent, our lives and interests are shaped and empowered by the intricate network of social interactions and relationships that surround us.
If we look at how we can achieve meaningful personal growth, it’s hard to fathom without companions to enlist in the mission. Yet, during the isolation brought by COVID, I saw firsthand the rise of a loneliness epidemic, fueled by our fast-paced, digital-first society. It made me ponder deeply about technology’s role. Often blamed for our disconnectedness, could it ironically be the key to fostering real connections?
Loneliness, devastating in its psychological effects, begins to affect most people when they spend more than 75% alone (1). Unfortunately, COVID, an aging population, a constantly rushed society and an increasingly hostile online space is giving rise to a loneliness epidemic.
A few months ago, I sat on a flight reading The Rise of Virtual Communities by Amber Atherton. I was reminded of just how many ways there are to build a virtual community. At the same time, it’s surprising how few virtual communities have truly succeeded. But the ones that have, re-affirm an intuitive preconception: they are more than just online forums or meetings; they are vibrant ecosystems with their own cultures and rituals. This revelation sparked a thought: what if we could reimagine these spaces to truly empower our journeys through personal interests?
In this digital age, I noticed how social media metrics influenced our interactions, often at the expense of deeper, more thoughtful conversations. Many social media platforms aim to maximize user engagement and clicks. While it is not yet clear whether social media fuels polarization, research is conclusive that it reinforces existing views. This has led to the promotion of incendiary and provocative statements over thoughtful and engaging dialogue, fundamentally altering the digital landscape for the worse.
Building Connections Through Interest-Specific Dialogues
I recall my experiences on platforms like Reddit and Discord. Despite their promise of community, I often felt like a mere bystander, simply searching for news or specific answers. This led me to question the effectiveness of virtual communities in creating a sense of belonging. My exploration led me to a fascinating visual representation — Andrei Kashcha’s map of Reddit’s communities. It beautifully illustrated how communities form around shared interests, which is a good start. However, while shared interests can spark connections, they are not enough to create true companionship. Something essential is still missing — perhaps the deeper, more personal engagement that fosters a genuine sense of belonging and nurtures these connections.
Reflecting on Dunbar’s number theory, which suggests a healthy community is around 150 people, I questioned the feasibility of forming large social circles in our already packed schedules. After all, research suggests that friendships peak in the late 20s and decrease as people age. As career demands, family responsibilities, and shifting priorities take over, maintaining meaningful connections becomes increasingly challenging.
Enter the concept of the Fediverse. The Fediverse, a decentralized network of interconnected platforms, offers a refreshing alternative to traditional social media. Unlike centralized platforms driven by ad revenues and algorithms, the Fediverse prioritizes user autonomy and community-driven moderation. This model fosters genuine interactions by aligning with the values of the communities it serves.
In the Fediverse, online identity and branding become more fluid and authentic. Users can create multiple identities across different instances, each reflecting a unique aspect of their personality or interests. This flexibility allows for more meaningful and tailored interactions, reducing the pressure to conform to a single, often superficial, online persona.
Imagine connecting monthly with a small group, engaging in deep, interest-specific dialogues. This idea resonates with me, especially considering the time constraints many of us face. Furthermore, these meetings need not be confined to the virtual world. They can extend to real-life interactions, enhancing the sense of community and belonging.
Strengthening Bonds and Enlisting Companions
As technologies like Augmented Reality and Large Language Models evolve, I see a future where virtual interactions are not just exchanges of text but meaningful, immersive experiences. These technologies hold the promise of nurturing more open, moderated, and intercultural dialogues, transforming our online interactions and facilitating real-world connections.
This approach will fundamentally alter the way we enlist companions in our journey through various interests. Starting with family and people with whom we share common interests, we can form tighter bonds both online and offline. By building these connections, our interests themselves are amplified, enhancing our motivation and sense of belonging.
As we deepen our connection with others through shared exploration of each interest, both virtually and in person, our personal growth is enriched, and our lives gain more meaning. This journey is not just about individual development but about creating a happier, more civil, and more tolerant society.
In conclusion, embracing the potential of the Fediverse, online identity, and selective group matchmaking can lead to more meaningful connections. By focusing on much smaller, interest-specific dialogues and leveraging evolving technologies, we can build communities and friendships that truly enrich our lives and foster personal growth. It’s not just about virtual or physical interactions in isolation but about using both to nurture each other, leading to real-world relationships and collaborations. Through these connections, we can make the world a better place, one meaningful interaction at a time. To explore how this vision could manifest itself in the real world, be sure to read the next chapter on Waffle’s Genesis Series.